Feeling Guilty

So, Mother’s Day…hmmm…not feeling particularly motherly today.  Started off at work at the crack of dawn (literally…I begin work at 4am).  Home by 9am with donuts in hand for almost all of us.  ALMOST all of us because my sweet Nick is gluten intolerant (we think).  Long boring story short–Nick has had crazy bouts of whatever he eats running right through him (to put it delicately.)  After eliminating dairy and that still not helping…we thought “maybe gluten?”

So, we decided to eliminate gluten for a while and see what happens.  Easier than a doctor visit and all that that entails, right?  How naive we were!

We discovered, much to all of our surprise, that all of life’s greatest joys–food-wise–contain gluten.  Wonderful treats like home-made chocolate chip cookies, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, Pop-Tarts for crying out loud–all contain gluten!

So he has been eating plenty of tuna fish, hot dogs (no bun), ham, turkey, eggs, fruit and anything else I can think of that contains no gluten, and still no dairy–just to be on the safe side.  The good news is it seems to be working.

The bad news?

My boys all wanted donuts this morning.  Our favorite donut on this planet?  Maple bars!  So, I bought half a dozen of those plus 6 assorted others and headed home to begin the rest of my day with a maple bar.  Good plan, right?

Well, of course I wasn’t going to be cruel and eat Nick’s favorite donut in front of him.  I was going to wait until he was busy playing a video game or otherwise disposed.  What do they say about the best laid plans??

I walk in the door and Nick was fast asleep on the couch.  YES!  So, I get a tall glass of ice water and the best donut in the known world, sit down in my favorite chair and take a bite.

And then I hear it.

The sweetest voice in my world asking, “What’s that?”

As quickly as I could I answered truthfully, ” A donut but you can’t have one because it will make you sick.”  And then I added, “But I will get something just for you later.”  That seemed to placate him as he fell back to sleep.

So, my wonderful husband took him to the store later and he got a candy bar–completely gluten free!

And yet, I still felt like I had somehow cheated on my son–is that even possible?? I know he will have to deal with this lack of gluten like he deals with everything else-and so will we-but this one seems especially tough.  Do I ban gluten from all of our diets?  Do I sneak treats behind his back?

And why am I always left with more questions than answers when it comes to parenting this very special boy?



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2 responses to “Feeling Guilty

  1. aww man, those are my favorite, too!!

    Next time just pick up a candy bar WITH the doughnuts so you won’t feel so cruel..

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