Yesterday, we said goodnight forever to our Puppers….our Jazzerini…our DJ Jazzy Jazz…or just plain Jasmine. I wrote a post a while ago about her deterioration, and my reluctance to let go. After that post, she had perked up…started eating and drinking again. I truly believe that she held on for my son, Matt, to get home from Wisconsin. He was her boy, after all. She stood guard over him while he slept…allowed him to drag her around by a leash, and loved playing with Matt.
The house seems too quiet now.
We are all in a state of shock. I knew it would be hard. I just didn’t realize how empty I would feel.
For 17 years, she had been with us…through three apartments and three houses. She used to panic when we would move. We would always take her over to the new place last. I guess she thought we were never coming back. Poor thing. We would never leave her behind. Until today at the vet’s. And though I know we made the right decision….the vision of her dying haunts me.
We were all there for her…the entire family…standing in the room with her, holding her, kissing and hugging her…until she breathed her last. It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. Leaving her there was what we decided we would do. We are not the “bury the dog in the backyard” family…or the “ashes on the mantle” family either. And that is not to say that I think that if someone does that they are weird. It is just not us. But leaving her at the vet’s office was tough. We left her with her favorite blankie, one that used to belong to my son. It just felt right to us to do that.
Today, I scoured through all the pictures that we have, searching for the perfect picture of her…and I think I found it.
It shows her looking up at Her boy. You can see the love in her eyes for him. I framed this picture and am going to give it to my son…I hope it brings him happiness instead of the overwhelming sadness that is engulfing us now.
I am looking forward to the time when we will only laugh about the wonderful times we shared with her…and not cry over it having to end.
I have never before made the decision to end a pet’s life. Why can’t they just all go to sleep and die peacefully? Why must we have to be the ones to play God and end their suffering?
So….Goodnight Sweet Girl…Sleep Well and know that you are missed and still very much loved.