Where Have You Gone?

I once had a really special friend.   Two, actually.  And the one friend asked me if I thought the other one would like her( the other friend was a man).  Thus, began our troubles.

I had been friends with both for almost the same amount of time.  It was about four years at that point.  But we were REALLY close.  I am talking taking each other to the airport, holding my hand while I was in labor close.

So, when the one friend (who, for her privacy I will call Jen) asked me to ask Dan (another alias) if he “liked” her….I hemmed and hawed for a good bit.  She badgered me and finally I told her flat-out–“You break his heart, and don’t bother calling me again.”   He was one of those rare finds…a truly nice man.  A gentleman.  And as my Dad used to say…you line up 20 women against the wall, and he will pick the 1 bad one every last time.  His heart had been broken too many times already, and I couldn’t bear the thought of a friend of mine breaking his heart.

So…they dated…and HE fell in love…and SHE fell in love…the only problem was she didn’t fall in love with him, but his BROTHER.  Yep…you read that right…not only did Jen break Dan’s heart–she did it by shacking up with and eventually marrying his brother.

And I guess she believed what I told her, because I haven’t heard from her in twenty years.

I think about her from time to time…what she’s doing..does she have kids…etc.  And I wonder if our paths ever crossed again…what would happen?

Honestly, I have forgiven her.  Dan forgave both her and his brother–I told you…truly a nice guy.  Dan went on to marry somebody else and have children of his own.

But still…

I could never look at her the same way again.  I know we were all really just kids when all the drama unfolded.  But I loved Dan like a brother…and it was as if someone shoved a dagger in his back…and I could forgive her, but I really couldn’t forget.  I couldn’t forget the look on his face when he told me what had happened…or the way I think he just “settled” for, and then married, the very next woman who came into his life.  Dan and I also haven’t spoken in years now.

I don’t know if any of that is Jen’s fault…probably not…but my friendship with Dan was fractured when they broke up…and I don’t think it ever healed properly because slowly but surely, Dan extricated himself from my life.

I miss him.

I don’t miss her nearly as much as I miss him.

But, yes, I still wonder what we would say to each other if we saw each other.  Would we be able to make a friendship work?  Or would it be just ugliness?  Maybe I will look her up on Facebook and see what happens…

Then again, maybe I should just pray that she is fine, happy, and leave the old wounds alone.

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11 Comments

Filed under Writer's Workshop

11 responses to “Where Have You Gone?

  1. That is so sad! I feel the worst is that you lost a friendship with Dan too…..even though you had warned her. Sorry to hear your story.

  2. mommylebron

    Wow, that is such a hard position to be in! I have caught up with lots of people from my youth on Facebook, and surprisingly I have gotten along smashingly with lots whom I couldn’t stand back then. I find that many people grow and change over the years and you may be pleasantly surprised.

    • The same holds true for me as well. I actually tried to find both her, her husband and Dan on FB after I posted this, and no luck. Her real name is pretty unique so I think if she was on there I should be able to find her, so maybe it is just not the right time yet. Thanks for visiting again.

  3. Wow! What a thing to happen…so is Jen still with the brother??

  4. Thank you for your thoughtful comment on my entry. I’m so sorry about your friends. Its rough when friends date and it doesn’t work out. I’m sorry that you’ve lost touch with both of them.

  5. Hi, Leslie. I came to your blog via the comment you left on my blog today…and I stayed! 🙂
    Very thoughtful and thought-provoking. I look forward to reading your blog.

  6. Oh wow! Very heartbreaking!

    You need to find Dan! Keep trying!

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