Category Archives: Adoption

“Could be cataracts…or a tumor.”

Those were the doctor’s words to me.  I stood there, holding my beautiful little boy, trying not to fall completely apart.  I didn’t do all that well, truth be told.

It had been a rough month.

After years of struggles, we had been blessed with our youngest son, Isaac Lee, through adoption.  He wasn’t legally ours yet…but he was our boy, just as surely as if he had grown in my own womb.  And we were thrilled with him.   He brought new life to our household, and we were all still loving every minute of it.

Then, just a short while after he came into our lives, I found out I was pregnant.  We were surprised…and heartbroken when we lost that baby almost four months into the pregnancy.

So there I stood, just about a month later, in my pediatrician’s office, hearing those words…” Could be cataracts…or a tumor.”

My husband had noticed Isaac’s pupil looking a “little blue” that morning.  We had never noticed it before.  His eyes are so big and beautifully dark that I am sure we would have noticed it if it had been there before.  He had been seen by countless doctors, social workers, etc. since his birth, and no one else had ever seen anything amiss with his beautiful eyes.

I asked the doctor, “So, you are referring us to a specialist?”  He didn’t say anything for a minute.  It felt like an eternity.  He looked at me and said, “No….you need to go to the ER immediately and have him examined.  We will call ahead for you.”

That’s when I lost it.  I immediately started bawling, holding him tightly against me.  I felt like if I held him tightly enough, and until we knew what was going on, he was still this perfect little angel…not disabled or diseased in any way.

The next few hours went agonizingly slow.  Because he was still a foster child, and not on our insurance, we had to take him to the county hospital.  Oh, what a special joy that was.  Lucky us, we got to share the ER that day with drug addicts, convicts (not exaggerating…across the hall from our space was a woman dressed in an orange jumpsuit, handcuffed to her gurney, escorted by a policeman.) and an assortment of other characters odd, sad, and all a little depressing.

Finally, THE doctor came to see us.  After a brief exam, and waiting for the correct equipment to check his eyes with…the result:  severe cataracts in both eyes.  His one eye was already blind.  No sight at all.  That was the “blue” eye my husband noticed.  The other eye, though severe, still had sight.  The prognosis?  Debatable.

But, I was happy as a lark.  He may be partially blind, but no tumor.  His sight may get better.  There was hope…something I felt I had run plumb out of by that point.  Besides, this was something they might be able to fix.

And then it hit me…I forgot to call the social worker.  My first time as a “foster” mother, and I completely forgot one of the major rules.  Any time there is a medical emergency I was supposed to call them as soon as possible.  For some reason, it just never occurred to me during all of those hours in the ER.

So, I finally made the call.  I wasn’t sure what to expect, but I was taken aback by the response.  “You know that there is nothing saying you have to adopt him still, right?”

“What?!?”

“You haven’t signed the final papers yet.  You can still change your mind.”

“Are you kidding me?!?!  He is my boy.  This changes nothing!”

“I knew you would say that.  Just wanted to make sure you knew.”

I was almost speechless.  To think that was what was first on her mind..to let me know the contract hadn’t been finalized yet…unbelievable.

Within two months, Isaac endured two separate surgeries.  He grew to hate going to the doctor.  They operated on the “bad eye” first.  It wasn’t instantaneously, but two weeks after surgery, he regained 100 percent of his sight for the bad eye.  He had to wear glasses for a while, and due to another injury later, his right eye is super sensitive to light so he looks a little like a pirate when he first wakes up or goes outside in bright sunlight.

But…he is perfect to US….we have much to be thankful for.

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Filed under Adoption, Family, Uncategorized

God Uses Baseball?

My youngest son, Isaac, is my youngest son because of baseball.

Sound crazy? Let me explain.  We had always wanted another child after Nick was born, but because of his needs, we waited quite a while before even trying again.  There is almost a five year gap between Matt and Nick, so we weren’t concerned about a similar gap between Nick and a younger sibling.  When Nick was four, we decided we were ready.  When I still wasn’t pregnant a year later, I went to the doctor.

Nothing seemed amiss and yet I still wasn’t getting pregnant.  We thought maybe we weren’t supposed to have any more children.  But the desire was still there. So we prayed.

And prayed.

…and prayed some more.

My eldest son, Matthew, was born an athlete.  I say this because from the time he could walk, he turned everything into a game of athletic skill.  His first word besides “mama” and “dada” was ball.  Not french fries, not bottle….BALL. Any ball he picked up, he could do damage with, whether a basketball, a football or a baseball.  Had he liked the sport, he would have been an excellent soccer player.

His first love was basketball.  He would shoot dirty socks through a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle laundry basket into the waiting bucket below.  He practiced dribbling with a ball that smelled like strawberries when he was 18 months old.

When he was 3 he got a Little Tykes basketball set.  The hoop extended from 4 to 6 feet high.  The first afternoon it was put together, he was happily shooting the tiny basketball into the 4 foot high hoop.  A friend was over and said, “put it up higher and see how he does.”  So, I did.  First to 5 feet.  The first shot sailed in and as I have heard it on ESPN–NOTHING BUT NET.  So, I put it up all the way to the top…6 feet.  He looked at me and smiled.  Shot the ball…SWOOSH!  My friend turned to me and said, “He is going to be paying your bills someday!”  We laughed but I knew then that he was gifted athletically.  God blessed him with incredible hand-eye coordination (something i definitely don’t possess), with speed, with the ability to see something and mimic it when it comes to anything pertaining to sports.  He is a sponge.  And he loved basketball.  So, we tried to get him onto a team anywhere.   And, for reasons that are varied and ridiculous…it never really happened.

He was able to play one year with a school league but didn’t enjoy it as much as he thought he would.

And in the meantime we tried to have another child.  But it just didn’t happen.  And as Nick requires so much of our time, we thought maybe God was telling us we had our hands full.  We prayed.  We cried.  Finally we said if it happens it happens if it doesn’t then we can be thankful for the two boys we already have.

The End.

Not yet. God answered our prayers with baseball.

We had just moved and thought Matt needed something to occupy his time.  So, we signed him up at the local little league.  He is 12 years old.  It is opening ceremonies and the day is dragging on and I am sitting next to one of the dads on our team.  And I say to this gentleman, “your son looks like his mom.”  And he laughs and says he is not sure about that one because his son is his adopted son…his chosen child.  So we begin to talk.  I had always believed that adoption was a lengthy expensive venture–that only wealthy couples could dream of adopting.  He explained to me exactly how the process works and that no…it actually doesn’t cost thousands upon thousands of dollars.  It just takes time.

That was when I knew we would have another child.  I had always believed that we were promised one more child and that if it was a boy we would name him Isaac because he is the child God promised to us.  A little over 2 years later, we brought Isaac Lee home.

And every time I look at Issac I think, thank God for baseball, and thank God that He brought Isaac Lee safely home.

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Filed under Adoption, Baseball, Family, Kids